I’ve been feeling so angry this week.
The kind of anger I rarely feel.
The kind of anger that makes me feel like screaming and swearing.
If you know me, you probably understand why this is weird for me.
I am not an angry person.
I get flustered, sometimes annoyed and I rarely swear.
It was the usual scenario of one thing then other things piling on
when you are emotionally raw and vulnerable, therefore less able to cope well.
It’s hard to keep your cool and remain positive when you feel so crabby.
Then I get annoyed with myself for letting unimportant stuff get to me,
but hey, I’m human and I deserve to be treated as such...
In a situation, a world where respect is a given.
REALLY! Oh no, I’m not going down the global track.
Way too depressing, besides, in my little world
I am surrounded by respect and support.
I just lose sight occasionally and momentarily struggle to find meaning to grasp on to.
Maybe we can ponder on the possible influences of super full moons, windy days,
Crazy hot days, change of seasons or the alignment of the planets, (is Mars lightning fires
in my celestial houses...now that would explain all those hot flushes!).
In the midst of it all, I saved myself by making;
a little red dress,
Crepes with maple syrup and strawberries,
Listening to The Smiths and The Church
smashed avocado on toast with poached eggs, mushrooms, asparagus and dukkah
A handful of hand bound books,
Pear, cinnamon and raspberry clafoutis
Reading, writing, mind mapping and watching episodes of a sappy series,
Though not all on the same day!
For me, it seems there is not much difference between wondering and wandering. It has always helped me find inspiration. Creative dabbling is good for the soul, I couldn't imagine life without it and often surprise myself by what I come up with.