Week 12 has been distracted by week 11's slow behaviour stretching into the time frame, but I made the most of having extra teenagers around this weekend and after 5 years in our house, I have finally painted my bedroom walls! The original dusty lilac was drab and dull and with the front awning covering much of the natural light, the room needed brightening up. So with my helpful assistants, the walls are now chalkdust white and the room feels fresh and light. When my four poster bed arrives next week it will be lush and decadant! We also cooked and baked and though I bake most weekends for the neighbours and the school lunches, with extra mouths more was needed. Friday afternoon at the library was quiet so I feasted my eyes and tastebuds in the cooking section and borrowed a few, (because I obviously don't have enough of my own cook books),and got inspired. Pizzas, spanish omelette, warm greens salad, cottage cheese loaf, dhal, apple teacakes and a heartshaped chocolate cake. All delicious, except for the missing sugar in the teacake!
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This week I am working on a collaged self portrait as a sample piece for my students. I often find it easier to make with students rather than just explain. It offers a visual that breaks the process down into simple steps, creates a different dynamic and the creative vibe catches on easier.
I'm noticing that I have been underestimating some of my project time frames and am often starting late in the week,(hence late blog posts) which is limiting...but life is a constant juggling act! The beginning of my week is filled up with schook work, followed by a mid-week pause, work at the library, then the weekend with family sprinkled throughout. My weeks blend into each other and as my autoportrait sticks itself together, I am getting back on track. The process becomes important and more interesting as I progress and I recognise and remember aspects of it that are easily forgotten when not on task or focused. The path, the journey, not the result, is where meaning lies and learning begins.
I spent a few hours reinventing.
Interesting things happen when you rummage through your stash. Experimenting is one of the most time consuming studio activites. Basically, it is research. Combining, testing & manipulating materials in every which way to see what you can or can't do with them. Like editing a photo, you have to play around with the effects to see what works, what you like. reduce reuse recycle rethink reimagine recreate rejoice! Folding, ironing, trimming, layering, sprinkling, sticking, sewing... Old wrapping papers, calenders, clippings & cuttings, fabric scraps, words & sparkly hearts now have new life as bookmarks & cool quirky envelopes. I am falling behind this week. It isn't a huge problem but we all know what happens when we let things lag, catching up is hard work.
I try to embrace my slumps as much as I can but that doesn't keep the frustration at bay. I am not...wait, I need to turn this around. I often overthink things which sometimes leaves me feeling overwhelmed. I am slow and steady. Once I find my starting point, things usually come together quickly. Maybe messy beginnings allow me to reign in the essential or maybe that's the way it flows sometimes. I am as confident as the next person which, from what I've understood. isn't as much as I should be. I get things done. I doubt. I try not to but I do. Mostly I doubt myself. I am fairly trusting of people though I try to be cautious. I trust my instincts, my intuition is rarely wrong, though I try to look at things from all perspectives. I am easily distracted. I have lots of ideas. These ideas excite me. I strive for optimism. Living positively is as natural a high as they come! And yet, occasionally I feel like I'm kidding myself. I am made up of contradictions. My energy fluctuates like teenage mood swings. Sometimes all I want to do is stop; To stop in front of the TV and binge for a day, To escape between the pages of a good book, To drink bottomless cups of tea, To do anything except what I know I should be doing. I am human. No surprises there. None of this makes any any sense or difference to anyone but me. So in my long winded way I get to the point. I find my way. This weekend I didn't feel like doing anything. I felt physically, emotionally and mentally lumpy. Perhaps it is befitting that my succulent terrarium was made during a dry spell in the middle of a downpour. Nothing like dipping your hands in good earthy energy and the promise of new life. Succulent, from the Latin sucus meaning juice or sap, is one of my favourite words. It has a juicy feel in the mouth. It arouses the senses with culinary associations. A lovely way to finish the week after feeling two-dimensional for most of it. |
AuthorFor me, it seems there is not much difference between wondering and wandering. It has always helped me find inspiration. Creative dabbling is good for the soul, I couldn't imagine life without it and often surprise myself by what I come up with. Archives
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