Like many things, my creative patterns and endeavours have transformed over the last few months. Writing and poetry have taken lead, so my head is full of thoughts and words. My voracious appetite for books and creativity continues to leave me befuddled, urging inspiration yet overwhelming action.
Movement and distraction have impacted my creative pace and practice, too much or not enough. Reorganising required.
Time to order and collate recent musings, to catch up on my self.
May was here and then, suddenly gone.
Work resumed, though the rhythm and energy was shot. Adapting to pandemic changes was like a morphing process, initial changes happened in earnest, quickly, before we knew or realised how or what to do. Other changes came in waves, like our emotional state.
A sense of restless stillness, a bittersweet limbo settled in.
Simple daily comforts and pleasures became tainted with removed freedoms and the uncertainty of what the future might hold.
I filled my head with creative writing. Amotissé keeping my thinking wired as I searched for inspiring prompts. It was a long awaited and timely reawakening. An online poetry course through futurelearn.com re-hooked patterns of painting with words, a welcome distraction while my focus was lopsided.
Being well was hard with confused dynamics, people and places not their usual selves. Overall, people were well enough, yet anxiety seeped through the cracks, undermining positive flow and energy and resilience felt fragile like foundations after a tremor.
We never know what we’re made of until action is required.
Urgency brings out our best and worse.
Action and inaction.
An overall loss of expected movement led to a surge of unexpected movement. Balance swaying with mixed emotions and contradictions, positive and negative.
Behind the scenes these few months, my teenage twins have been home enduring lockdown with typical teenage relish!
So when the rental application was approved and the timing I hoped for happened, we were ecstatic!
Everything was quick after that. Packing, driving to the coast, signing the lease and moving them in! HUGE, EXCITING AND NERVE RACKING!
Time felt fast and slow. Things fell into place as they do.
Quicker than expected, they became free agents, the next stage or adventure begins for the three of us.
I am now a true empty nester.
I felt the emotion hit me as I waved to Artémis while the train pulled out from the station, knowing I wouldn’t see her again for months.
I’m rarely lonely, though I’ll be happy sad for awhile.
Getting ready to leave them to it.
To accept, to not ask, to let them carry their own responsibilities.
I am so excited for them.
The incredible adventure of life continues to amaze me. It bestows such blessings. I feel maternally connected yet so separate, simultaneously. They are becoming their own selves in a modern digital age, ripe with pandemic and unknown challenges.
Energy and momentum continues to shift.
I felt powerless as endings and beginnings formed around me, leaving a stunned emotional wake behind them.
As the repercussions of pandemic mayhem rippled through some of my close relationships, I’ve tried to remain as compassionately objective as I can, but mostly I’ve felt like a deer in headlights...no time to register before the impact.
And we are all impacted.
In ourselves, our interactions...
Winter sunshine has been steady and comforting. Like a lizard, I’ve been basking in it on the front porch, with pots of tea, absorbing the warmth. That has been a constant.
Bella, Batgirl and Ying have been constantcompany, keeping close by whenever I’m home and waiting patiently when I’m out.
The holidays brought welcome movement, respite and indulgence.
Sadly, the heaviness of emotional upset remains constanttoo.
Poetry has been a new constant, as writing creatively continues to spur me on. As my focus shifts, I’m lagging in other creative pursuits. Sometimes it feels like the dimness is turned down.
Answer this list of kooky questions.
Going through my many papers, I rediscovered this book, Transforming grief and loss through writing by Susan Zimmerman. In Chapter 11 The Power of Poetry, she explains an exercise by poet Georgia Heard which goes like this:
Do this quickly, capturing the first thoughts you have.
Read what you have written. Take your time, close your eyes and visualise the images you have collected. Using these ideas and inspiration, craft a little, or long, poem of your own. Remember, there is no right or wrong, only a string of words that create meaning for you.
The view from here
Life humming, s t r e t c h e d o u t
like a distant drone,
Sounds like it feels,
boxes you in,
beyond your control.
Reflections s t r e t c h o u t
in the dark like
wisps of whispers
to visit another day...
Beyond your control,
like the missing piece
of an almost finished puzzle.
By Tina Pech 2020
I re-write the song…
Share a lyric or line from a favourite song.
What kind of poem or text can you make with our collected lines?
How has your free writing been going? Though I try to write every day, distractions of all kinds often get the better of me, so I am always pulling myself back in and making time to do things that are important for me. I was recently given The view from here as a title for a poem, so look outwards from where ever you find yourself and focus this week’s free writing on that view…can’t wait to see it!
Origins – where words come from…
Choose one or a few words that you like or find interesting. Delve into their etymology, their origins and their transformations over time. What stories have you found? Share them with us.
In her book Creative Journal Writing, Stephanie Dowrick refers to free writing as ‘the life force of creative journal writing, that giving yourself permission to write freely, without judging, comparing and censoring is the greatest gift.’
Free writing is simply the practice of writing anything, your internal monologue, habitually, every day for 20 minutes, (more or less). If you are stuck, you can write about what that feels like, you can repeat words, make mistakes, have a nonsensical conversation with yourself or the page.
The only rule is to write, regularly, to stick with it.
This week’s theme or starting point is to write about writing.
How does it make you feel? Why do you write?
There are places, iconic places that are immediately recognisable, even if you have never been there. Each country, each culture has their own. We make touristic pilgrimage to many of them if we can. Make a list of landmarks you have visited. Think about landmarks nearby, landmarks that are part of your daily landscape. What are their stories? What do they mean to you? Some of of you might recognise this one.
For me, it seems there is not much difference between wondering and wandering. It has always helped me find inspiration. Creative dabbling is good for the soul, I couldn't imagine life without it and often surprise myself by what I come up with.