As I drove along appreciating the season and that lovely holiday vibe, my mind was filled with gratitude for all the simple and wondrous aspects of my life from family and friends to realising dreams and all those little things that make up a day. There is much more balance and harmony in our lives that we generally recognise.
So it is obviously at this moment when I am full of life and positivity that the harmonic balancer in my engine decides to come out AGAIN, after being repaired less than 4 months ago.
Almost like the universe slapping me back down to size saying no no no, not allowed to be too content!
We got as far as Wellington just after 11am where we spent most of the day figuring out what to do. I have been trying hard to remain positive BUT...no, i feel anything but. Despite all the wondrous aspects, i am pissed, let down and horribly disappointed. After having already spent a decent amount on this car, I am feeling inclined to just put a new motor in it and hope for the best. Otherwise I have to find a new wsecond hand car and spend around the same amount with no particular guarantee of its condition, (Now is the moment when winning one of those elusive raffles or competitions would be wonderful).
Though we managed to get to Canberra through the kind loan of a vehicle from the mechanic in Wellington, I feel extremely flat. All my joy and enthusiasm has been sapped. We visited the National Library and Artemis and Armand were champions last night helping out with last minute hand sewing till rather late at night and now, I sit here exhausted in my crumped empire line thinking about the day ahead, I will surely find some amusement in it, only without the bounce I had intended.
I can’t help wondering what important lesson it is that the universe desires me to learn through all this. Probably quite straight forward or nothing, though I imagine I will philosophise about it for a while as I cheer on (yay) 48 years of me.
For me, it seems there is not much difference between wondering and wandering. It has always helped me find inspiration. Creative dabbling is good for the soul, I couldn't imagine life without it and often surprise myself by what I come up with.